foot prints of lotus

Today, I went to ascendas to submit the visa documents.. ..  I am not happy.... I saw her desk where some one was sitting... but i found the wallpaper at her desk.... I was searching for her foot prints and the air which she breathe ... not found .. lotus is not there ;( ... where r u lotus ??  Last week, I went to thiruvannamalai, there i pray for lotus and my mother ... My mother is not well, she is also suffering from heart disease(low heart beat).. Doctor said that it will be cure by tablet.. I have so much angry on god.... why he is giving this to my Mom, she is so devotional to god .. and no one be kind like her ... I lighted 1008 lamps for lotus mother to get well soon.. now what shall i do ?? Nowadays I hate god so much... don't like god ... I lost lotus love... But still i pray to god for lotus and my mother ...

Love is the one which brings a man to be good ... devotion on God is nothing infront of love.... Love makes a man to be 100 % pure in mind ... it's spiritual like tulsi...