Today December 1'st is kaarthigai, the same day i proposed my love to lotus on 2005 December 13th... While i was in coffee break chatting with friends, she came across me with the manager ... suddenly i stopped talking and thinking about her visit .. friends understood my situation ... After few minutes she went to jbal place and was writing something on a paper ... she crossed my desk with out have a look at me ... edhuvum theriyaadaval pola .. she don't even see the lotus wallpaper at my desk ... i was waiting that she return back in the same path, but she fooled me that she return back through another way ... i was searching for her all places ... i found that she was sitting near dba place ... I came back to my desk, after a while i again search for her .. couldn't find.. went down and search but again not found is the result ....
I asked her team mate and they become silent, if i ask about her ... they might think that bcoz of me lotus will get trouble .... never, she won't be in trouble bcoz of me .. i am the well wisher of lotus next to god ... i am asking for her marriage date.. no one is telling .. why ? am i going to disturb .. never still no one understands me well .. i will be flower for her to wish, if she married with some one .. i have to shed tears of love on that day (tears in my eyes now).. i think that rc is her friend ... he is also silent.. friend na kaadhala sethu vaipaanga ... avangalaam love paaniyirundhaal andha vedhanai puriyum ... still i don't the person who is her friend... i confirmed that she didn't get married after long days .... no one open the mouth if i ask about her ... even too ask why she took 5 days leave, i have struggled to ask her team-mate... no one tell ... fear in mind whether she would complaint to hr ... lotus don't talk with my batch mates ... no one is her friend ... she becomes an island built walls around her ... today a manager praised well jbal and arun about their behavior ... even though they loved, they behaved very decently in office ...
I sent messages to her to talk and asking a chance to consider me ... no reply ... she put paper and leaving from office on January 1'st week... why she came to this office ? why should i love and suffer for 4 years .. I shouldn't even see her face in these 4 yrs ... i asked my mother to talk, but lotus didn't attend the phone ...
1. give me a chance i will ask my mother to talk to your parents .. love is precious than money and caste..
2. you will live like princess in our home..will you come ? your parents will accept if they see my real love on you and my mother kindness .. i will take care of your family till my end of life .. please tell about me to your parents .. alteast discuss with your brother..
3. i am in temple infront of shiva : you both are silent .. what shall i do ?lamps are glowing .. will you be with me to glow like lamp .. will you show kindness ?
Last friday, i went home before attending jbal marriage.. I went to temple and asked amma about lotus .. she is saying that you are asking for a life with full of love, beautiful and brilliant girl .. but lotus don't have kindness ..life is not good without love.. nowadays people are throwing the life .. they fall behind sexual pleasure and money ... not giving importance to love .... life is very short .. for you job is very important ... you should succeed in life ... I will get you a chance to talk with lotus ... if she is willing to come with you now.. naan ungala serthu vaikiran with parents support, don't see caste and all ..
i went to temple not to wine shop as today is auspicious day ... even though i am sad, never hesitate to buy flowers for god ... bought bunch of flowers to lord Shiva .. lamps are glowing everywhere inside the temple ... i would like to burn in that fire to become ash ... lighted 2 lamps at durga feet ...i talked to all gods, when i come near saraswati.. don't know what to talk ... Lord Vishnu was decorated with lotus flower which looks fresh smile ...I was sitting opposite to lord Shiva for long time .. i could see many people lighting lamps around him with smile ... I asked him to burn me into ashes as i don't want this life which is terrible..didn't had food till now ... all are blaming me that i disturbed her ...
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