Task switch

I am trying hard to learn j2ee apart from office mainframe work... Also contributing on TPS java coding .... I don't have energy without lotus ... each and every minute  i am thinking about lotus in office... it's like operating system task switching, how my brain handle multiple switches .... hence i am not able to learn quickly... not able to concentrate in work... why god has given this punishment ? ... why she came in my life ? ... she could be able to do her work perfectly... always busy in project and a good team .. I am very possessive if i see her team mates... Does she know that how am  i suffering in doing office work bcoz of her ?? she not even know that how much i love her.... for her caste is important... i love her so much can't explain in words... i tried deviating the mind in other things, but couldn't ... even i tried putting kadalai with girls, no use ... i was talking about spiritual, god and all... who will talk to me ?... I am talking to my mother 5 times a day.... just call her and listen her speech, don't have news to talk, but i call her and listen something ... sometimes she tells about lord ramayanam / mahabharatham story... she is lighting lamp at mango tree in our house for me to get happy married life...she is spending 3hrs daily in spiritual activities...  whenever i visit friends house, i just search for the poojai room ... many people don't even light lamps... few light lamps but don't decorate the gods pretty

I installed IBM Rational Application Developer, RDZ for z/os, Websphere application server, IBM Data studio, IBM Websphere MQ, Db2 v9 all in my machine .. also plan to have microsoft .net.. I have to master on these development tools and technology ... but lotus is not with me to learn .. Hey god i have plenty of  food in a plate infront of me, but not able to eat without lotus ...

ponnugaloda suthuraa pasanga, kalyanathuku pin kanavan, maamiyaar kodumai,... idhellam kandika maataanga pennai petravargahl... love panninna periya kutram... avan nallah paiyaanaanu paathu sethu vaika maataang.. status, caste paathu kalyaanam senji pinnalaa kodumai paduthina... they don't(can't) even ask .. bcoz she has to live with him whatever he might be... I am seeing both type of guys .... [1 person who is my office colleague... he took house near his wife parents house.. I asked why you took very near ? ... he is saying that he could help them(parents), if any thing urgent ... Also planning to buy a house in the same area eventhough it's costly there ... He is a good guy taking care of wife family.  Another guy who is my sisters friend husband .. The girl is very rich in tuticorin and she married to that guy(rich) who is working in a s/w company(bangalore)... Even After marriage he goes  to party and enjoy with girls.. his brother take this girls costliest car and roam the city with girls...  she couldn't change his attitude and now she is in her father home... what is the use of life staying in father home with luxury without the love of husband... ?]

Marriage is the most Beautiful form of divinity : (author: starsai.com)
When a man and women starts a new life togather , its not the looks, money and family status that matters. Spiritually , getting married itself is a blessing as you help your atman ( soul ) to accept the union of another soul for rest of your life. Where ever two becomes one , God exists there. Such a sacred marriage must be started with blessings of God and Guru, with pure thoughts , less expectations , ability to adjust with each other and willingness to lead a life with honesty and purity. The moment ones ego, habits and desires doesn't match the other, it results in controversy