My Office Desk

My office desk...

lord saraswati is adorned with tulsi flower and krishna with tulsi leaf

life on earth

what is the life on earth ?? This earth is a central jail ;) to clean the soul ... Based on the past birth karma, people will be put into different cell(Status - rich, poor, moderate).... bcoz of pain some do suicide, this is just like escaping from the arms of police (navagraham)...me too think of that manyt imes... but didn't try  bcoz i know t hat again we will be put into this earth with additional punishment.... god has given many things to clean the soul ... river ganges, saints, mother, love... Why i am saying love here ? Love can bring a man to good path ... Why saints are coming to earth ?? They are helping us to break the birth life cycle..

GP is not willing to learn ZIIP technology along with me as she is a girl hesitating.. .. girls is like that they talk sometimes and don't many times... No friends is willing to work with me.. I would like to share and learn ... If lotus is with me she would listen me and encourage me to learn as she is saraswati.... I am missing .. krishna atleast give me the lotus to me in goloka vrindhavan.... I don't give her to anyone there... She is for me .... We will live there as like "Ram & Sita", "Krishna & Radha" ...

Today, Ching talked to me ... I was happy to talk with an java SME... But missing lotus to share.... Friends saying that this will get change when some one comes in my life to share and have commitments .... (; I like to see the smile face of lotus ;)


Alaghiya thimurudan pirandhaval lotus .... ask you father brahma to stop the process of creating human being on earth.... paavum indha boomi annai ... ask you mother saraswati to show courtesy on me... i want knowledge.... Astrologer asked your mother name, but i don't know...I should say that your mother is lord saraswati ;)

Importing life blog

Today, i have imported the blog life.aparnaramesh.com(DELETED) into this lotus blog as she won't be coming in my life...But this site will be there for ever... I have all the transaction user name with lotus name on it, even net banking .. THIS IS LIFE ... இது தான் வாழ்கை ;) Astrologer said that my marriage will be on 2010... So I have time to relax...

Live for me....

I am going to live for me each and every minute.... will be happy always ... throw away the sad things.... do whatever i wish ... Live for my aathma ;)... Early morning drive with pulsar,  At office Listening old melodious songs at background & writing java program when no one around me ... who gets this like me ??? .. Yesterday I talked to my friend Michael  who is in U.S...
                I like to say that u light ghee lamps for ur parents .... You are telling lie always .. dono which one is true .... In office u said that ur mother is not well .. believe all are fine now and live happily...

1. Fulfill their wish ... they don't say until we ask personaly
2. Ask them to light lamp...if they don't like then u do ....

You know, yesterday I saw a small girl is lighting lamp at temple .... I am going to light 1008 lamps at lord parvati lotus feet for clearing my bad karma .... I said earlier that i light together with lotus... But my wish dont happen, so i am going to light alone ....

[I will make my wife to write in this blog .. I will make her to understand me ... l will say everything about lotus to her ... lotus is not even talking, full of fear in mind.. I asked her to keep remember the name 'lord dhanvantiri' but no reply .... don't worry lotus i am good only, not trying to convince you to love.... I am thinking that your family is also mine... andha paasam dhaan ... nothing else .. Hope i do archanai to ur name till my end of life with my wife support ... I remember the word you said " who are you for me to understand ? You are nothing for me " ... One day you itself erase this word from my mind !!]

I couldn't bring my father to devotional... it's his menatlity... cant force him...

Java

I am deeply involved in java project ... I like to share this happiness with lotus.. I need motivation at this point of learning curve .. i dont know how to express this... I am really missing you lotus... plants need sunlight to grow ... i need ur voice to learn .. you r my teacher... who listen me ? lotus is fully busy in project ..

திரியாக நான் தீபமாய் சுடர் விட்டு எறிய
என்னையாய் அவள்  தூண்டி விட வேண்டும்


அந்த அவள் யார், தாமரை இல்லை அது நிஜம்
இந்த அவள் எங்கோ பிறந்து இருப்பாள் இது மெய்

During school days, if we get first rank... we first tell this to mother... But why this has changed... we are not sharing good things at first to parents .. expecting life partner(lover / wife) to share... is this bcoz of harmone ?? yes my friend is also saying the same thing... How brahma has created this life cycle ??

River ganges

I don't know what to write... But lotus brings me here to write... Today morning when i think about her ... she is flowing inside the mind as ganges river because when she comes in my mind, lotus is purifying the thoughts .. i went to north india after completing 11th standard at that time i took bath in river ganga and i felt that my  mind got purified....  what a sacred lotus is ?? i missed the ganges river aparna... She has many names as like radharani...

The Ganga is considered the most holiest and sacred of rivers by the Hindus and called Mother that cares protects gives life and washes away all sins... I will take my mother to this place ....

Young river ganga - பெண்ணின் இடை போல் வளைந்து செல்கிறாள்

Yesterday i saw a girl who wears gold kolusu ... It looks pretty, but i say that we shouldn't wear gold on feet... have to give respect to the gold.... I break this rule for lotus, she is more precious than gold, equal to river ganges and hence she can wear gold kolusu on her feet ... I give respect to lotus feet also... I don't know why ??

On deepavali, I did paatha poojai with flowers, sandhanam, kumkum, paneer and  thiruneer... at last placed 'thaali with manja kairu' on amma feet and kept it in our poojai room... Then i did vehlvi with others... on vehvi kundam, i put nava dhaaniyam and at last amma asked me to put another set 'thaali with manja kairu, vethalai and paaku' on to the vehlvi ... within a second it burns into ashes ... i sit very close to that fire...  Then i lighted 21 ghee lamps around our mango tree in home.... where parvathi devi resides and saving us ... i don't know how lotus celebrates the diwali in her home ... it's ok ..

Happy Deepavali lotus

Happy Deepavali lotus

Enjoy the 4 days vacation at home... Yes I got her vacation details from xl sheet ;) .. Hey lotus, I found your name in orkut .. read through ur profile and your friends.... It's good that u like south indian idli with chutney... I missed that idli when u asked me to have during our train journey(while gong home for first  year diwali in pearl city express)... Now i feel that i won't get idli from you in my life time... why i missed that aparna ??

I couldn't request to add me in your friends list as it require to have ur email id.... I am always seeing you at a long distance .. will you add me in your list ?? am i eligible

Have a happy vacation ;)  I could wish only in this lotus space ... I am telling your name as like sri rama jayam more than 20 - 30 times a day ...

அழகிய மலர்களை ரசித்தாள்(ஸைட் அடித்தாள்)
உன் பெயர் சொல்கிறேன்... நீ கண்டிப்பாய் என்று

To share good things, i am calling you.... when i eat fruits, calling you to eat.. I want to give all the best things which i have to give you.... idhu dhaan paasam enbadha... She is kid ... Nee pattasu podum alaghai kaana vendum pola iruku.... Take help from ur younger brother and fire crackers... Be happy at home and bring charm to  ur family ... Your are the gem in ur family..... Take care Apu ;)

I am going home on friday night ... no leave balance for this year... not interested to celebrate diwali.. but going to do paadha poojai & vehlvi in temple on diwali ;) .. punniyam thedughiren unnai pohl irupadharku ;)



Happy Deepavali lotus .... I like to see smile on your face ... tears in my eyes while writing this ... dono ... missing u ;))

Thallu Thallu...

Lotus didn't came for team lunch ...couldn't see on her birthday ... it's ok... For long time, my eyes was looking at the entrance for her arrival.... But naan nallah fish saapiten... She leave early too ... I still remember the voice that she spelled (shouted) on her first birthday at cafeteria..... She told 'Thallu Thallu ..'  ;)) ... rani maadhiri ellathayum adhatuvaal... nice to hear that.. aval kooda sanda podanum pola iruku.... I missed that... avanga appa dress eduthu kodupaanga avaluku... its good !!

உன் நாவினில் அமிர்தம் உள்ளதோ நீ திட்டுவது கூட இனிமையாக இருக்கிறது

Happy Birthday Lotus

Many more happy returns of the day lotus !!



பிருந்தாவனத்தில்  சுற்றி திரியும் புள்ளி மானே
உன் மாய தோற்றத்தை கலைத்து விடு
சீதா தேவி போல் பார்த்துக் கொள்வேன் நான்

கலைவாணி பெற்ற வெள்ளைத் தாமரையே
உன் இதய தாமரையில் குடிஅமர  இடம் தருவாயா
சரஸ்வதி தேவியிடம் அழைத்துச் செல்வேன் நான்

Fig 2: Lotus Heart


Fig 3: Lotus leaf


Today is an auspicious day ;) Lotus birthday !!!

அப்பு அன்னை சரஸ்வதி மடியில் அமர்ந்து அன்னம் பருக
தேவர்கள் பூ மழை பொழிந்து வாழ்த்தினர் ...

Morning, I went to temple and adorn lord saraswati devi with Jasmine garland and white Lotus flowers ... She looks pretty... When i  entered the temple abishegam (water) was not done... I was waiting for the ayar ... On normal days she don't wear white saree... luckily today she is in white saree with green border... She know that today is special day ;) I am really happy on seeing  Saraswati Maatha in white saree

Also bought pink lotus for lakshmi devi... when the ayyar comes, he did abishegam with water and adorned her with the garlands that i bought ... He put sandhanam on her forehead and it looks like full moon... I gave the lotus, myself and my mother name for archanai.. Then the ayyar gave the prasadham 'kumkum'.. When he tries to take the lotus flower from lord saraswati, i told him to just keep it there... its for her ...

I prayed to her that i don't know whether lotus is false deer or truely she has love on me .. Anything it's upto you and lotus.. I do what you decide whether i am Raman for  lotus (sita devi) or  yashoda for Krishna ... I prefer first choice since i can be always with her... On the second one, I can't even see / talk to her... It's an illusion only .... I can't even say her as false deer.. She is true ... She is dove .. she is pure like tulsi and saraswati devi....

When i came out of the temple, I thought of giving 'kumkum' to lotus.. But i can't give this Prasadham to lotus ... I asked for paper to keep the kumkum but the flower shop keeper gave me the white lotus idhal ;) to keep this kumkum ... Before this Ayyar gave me the lotus flower as prasadham which i didn't buy .. Now i got the white lotus ... What a kindness lord saraswati has  ?? My mother lord parvati is noticing all my activities with cute smile on her lips ;-)

மாய மான்

மாய மானை நம்பிக் கெட்டால்(ள்) சீதை
மாயக் கண்ணனை நம்பி கெட்டால்(ள்) ராதை
மாயக் கணவனை நம்பிக் கெட்டால்(ள்) கண்ணகி
மாய மானை (அப்பு) நம்பி கெட்டான்(ன்) இவன்

அவள் மாய மான் என்பது நிஜம், நான் வலையில் விழுந்து அகப்பட்டது  நிஜம், அவள் மறைந்து சென்றது நிஜம்... நான் தோற்றுப் போனது நிஜம்... அவளால் நான் கெட்டு போனது பொய்..




என் வினை தீர்க்க வந்த புள்ளி மான் அவள் (தாமரை)
வாழ்க புன்னகையுடன் நீ ....
வினை முடிந்தது, உன் பணி நிறைவடைந்தது ...
மாய மானாக  சுற்றாதே இனி ...
கண்ணனாக இரு, யசோதையாக  நான்  சாதம்(அன்பு) ஊட்டுகிறேன் ...
நிலவாக இரு, வானமாக பறந்து விரிந்து காத்திடுவேன்....

Yesterday I sent message to lotus to ask for a last chance ... I shouldn't sent that to her ... Astrologer told my mother that she is false deer and who becomes invisible when i go closer to her .... He also said that i would have suffered for nearly 4 & 1/2 years bcoz of a girl ... my mother asked him that is there any way to match lotus and myself and he replied "no way" ... Same thing is said by other astrologers... she never comes to me ... GP advised me for 1/2 hr saying the same thing that lotus is not the right match for me .... I told my mother to see a good bride soon ... Then only lotus talks to me as like others ...
 

There is an Excellent lyrics from a song, which reflects the girls nature....
"அருகில் இருந்தாள் ஒரு நிமிடம், தொலைவில் தெரிந்தாள் மறு நிமிடம்
கண்களில் மறையும் பொய் மான் போல் ஓடுகிறாள் "..   

கவிதை மனதிற்கு இதம்

At small age, I pray to god that "To punish udal kastam kodukaathey... manak kastam kodu".

I think, i shouldn't ask this..... manak kastam is terrible than the other ... to relief to the mind, i am writing the below poet...eventhough it's not a good one it brings peace when i write abt lotus...

From LordKrishna

[ என்ன அதிசயம்... ]
தாமரை நீரில் மிதந்து குளக்கரை செல்ல
ஆல விழுதினை பற்றி மெல்ல தவழ்கிறது ..

யார் உதவி செய்வார்கள் ??

தாமரை இடை கொடியில் தவள ...
முல்லை கொடி வேரில் படர்ந்தது.

கோவிலின் உள்ளெ செல்ல நடக்க வெண்டுமே ??

தாமரை பாதம் மண்ணில் நடக்க ...
மல்லிகை மலர் கம்பளம் விரித்தது

Continue....

White Lotus & Pink Lotus

When i gave saree to dhandeeswaram temple, I bought 1 white lotus & 1 pink lotus ... First i gave the white lotus to ayyar (small boy) for lord parvati... He kept the white lotus at her feet... Then i thought of having the pink lotus to lord brahma, but i couldn't keep since the iyaar was near durga statue ... After completing the first round(Garpagragam sutri), I gave this pink lotus to the ayyar for lord parvati(karunaambughai)... He kept the pink lotus at her hand... My mind was thinking that he kept the white lotus(aparna) at her feet and pink lotus at her hand... Within a second, he toook the white lotus from her feet and kept at her another hand... I was happy... I said this god is understanding my love...what is the use ? lotus appa amma purindhu kolla vendumeyyy.. ??? Then i looked at lord shiva suddenly a flower fell down from his body.... naan ninaithadhu avar kadhil vilundhu vittadhu pola... I was happy at this incidence....

Saraswati Poojai

On thursday i bought 'aparna silk saree - Maroon color border ' and 'angavastaram' from pothys and gave to the dhandeeswaram shiva temple for lord saraswati & brahma ... This is for the saraswati poojai which is an auspicious day for lord saraswati.... Also a special day for lotus (apu) ... then gave lotus name, her father name & my mother name for archanai.... How is your father lotus ?? I thought of asking you... But couldn't since you feel that i am asking this to talk to you.... Hope he is well and good !!

I booked ticket to my home and so i am not able to participate in saraswati poojai to see the beauty of lord saraswati adorn with white silk saree at dhandeeswaram temple.... On saturday we did abishegam to lord parvati(kutti amman - small statue) with panchamirtham, ilaneer, milk, thayir, panneer, sandanam, etc ... with our hand... No other temple allowed the people to do abishegham to god ... but in tuticorin aadhi parasakthi temple, they follow as like melmaruvathur temple... Friday is apu's mother special day... its the 9th day of navrathiri festival...Lord parvathi is adorn like saraswati devi... I can't imagine that the lord parvati weared the white saree which is exactly like the above saree(same color border) which i took for lord saraswati (dhandeeswaram temple)... I was happy to see this ... dono what color lotus weared on this day ?

Evening in my home, we celebrated the saraswati poojai by decorating the lord saraswati photo with jasmine and lotus flowers......

I stayed in tuty for 9 days.....I was happy there doing small house hold activities helping mother not kitchen work ;)... saw jodha akbar movie with my mother ... its a good real love story(a man who give respects to pennin unarvughal) ... my mother told that real love, affection and caring are the needs of human being till the end of life.... she got a good children(us) caring her.... I am realizing the importance of love(till end of life - at old age) in marriage life from my mother & sisters life... but only few will get that... I got a chance of seeing a movie about life of Shirdi Sai Baaba ... I was really impressed on seeing the kindness in his life... I dont have knowledge to describe his life.... he lived as spiritual in this material world.... I heard many things about the people from my sister ... she is saying that people are only good only in their family circle.... when they come outside world they are not good ... money is making people to take their life in bad path ... don't they even spend that money for little good thing... I have seen this in many places.... Only the person who earned money in good way are having helping tendency and be always good....

I bought a navrathina maalai for my mother to fulfill her long day wish ;)

http://www.shirdisaitrust.org/sstf/sst_sai_lifestory.html



This is old poojai shelf and the amman statue is not with us now....my mother put her into the sea long back.... we have only the photo, but the statue is in some temple as per my mother dream... and the lord krishna statue which i bought from Madhura ...