To lotus(Not my) இனிய தமிழ் புத்தாண்டு வாழ்த்துக்கள் !!!
You are always a diamond...... You have selected a better half who may be better than me ...It's good..
The things which i lost :
1. can't hear lotus voice (gives inspiration to achieve...I have said more about her voice in this blog)
3. can't see lord saraswati face with smile... (anger on her since she didn't give her daughter to me...but i love the mother..she is pretty)
4. a diamond(lotus) which is not worth bcoz of richness, but the sakthi that she had in her voice. she is the daughter of lord saraswati a divine mother
1. I had a wish of taking lotus to dhandeeswaram temple to show the smiling face of lord saraswati....This would never happens ;-(
2. To visit koothanur saraswati temple with lotus
3. To take care lotus throughout my life as like mother yasodha's caring on lord krishna
4. To hear lotus voice at the last minute (while leave from this earth)
5. To adorn lotus as lord saraswati, srimadhi radha rani and krishna
6. To learn TCMS with the guidance of lotus
7. To acheive more and more in my life with the support of lotus (start a business on lotus name)
8. Travel all through the world and show the lotus the beauty of this earth which was created by his father (lord brahma)
9. Take all her family members to divine path and take them to goloka vrindhavan where krishna and srimadhi radha rani resides..
10. Light 1000 lamps at lord parvati's feet before marriage together with lotus
11. Arrange for a Kaasi yaatirai to lotus and my parents after my marriage with lotus.
Unresloved Puzzle; [which makes me to think that lotus loves me..]
1. White dress
2. S14 Coach
3. **** (can't disclose)
To be resolve:
1. I have to get good name from lotus mother
[No one should get curse from a good woman at any time....I should get blessing from lotus mother, since i received scoldings from her which my mind should forget]
2. resolve the unresolved puzzles
[This never happens, so leave this...life is full of puzzles ;-)]'
What parvati said ?
5. i gave lotus a birthday gift (Teddy bear) on 13/10/2005 ...lord parvati only asked me to give a gift to you
6. You have selected a cloth(lotus) at the shop ... that's for you only whoever comes and see ..
Lotus asked me several time that you also have sister's right... but she don't know that i pray for girls not to suffer from ill treatment of husbands / mother-in law... what she know about me ?? The person who born with sisters definitely know about the issues faced by a girl in marriage life... I saw this from my mother life also.... The girl who will be coming in my life is really lucky not bcoz of me, because of my mother who is going to be a good mother-in-law for her
Thanks to lotus that she gave respect to my mothers call...but she refused to talk a single word to me...During the conversation, I started loving their family members and i thought that i should take care of her father to recover soon... Now, some one else is there to take care of them... I just remember lord dhanvantri to get well soon ... I promised to light 108 lamps at lord vaidesshwarar feet after lotus father get recovered completely... i will complete this one day
இன்னார் செய்தாரை ஒருத்தல் அவர் நான நன்னயம் செய்து விடல்
Lord parvati said a story of a girl who comes here to this temple for a relationship issue.... which i can't disclose here... she also said that i don't see caste, religion, region or anything for marriage.... since she is mother for all the human beings right... all are equal.. but people are telling caste as reason for not accepting the love.... I said my sister that i can't imagine that i can love another person than lotus... for this my sister said that you don't need to love a girl, your better half will love you as much as your love on lotus in this 4 years
My life was in very dangerous in this 4 years, lord parvati only saved me in all circumstances...astrology also says that i might lose job, involve in poli* case, etc....
April 22nd: Last saturday, i went to dhandeeswaram temple and i could see the smile on lord lakshmi and saraswati...but no smile on my face... Then i saw lord vaidheeswarar to pray for lotus father and said i will complete lighting the 108 lamps soon on his feet... this week, i will start and complete....i don't know what's wrong in me....lotus is not even willing to talk even a single word...lord parvati also said that you don't go and talk with her... At any time, don't go behind girl, money or anything.... Everything will follow you
April 24th: I lighted 2 lamps at vaideeshwarar temple...will complete this in 2 weeks...bought new camera...first shot i took is lord vaidheeswarar..will post soon his image in this blog...my mother is doing paadha abishegaham for lord parvati today on behalf of me...I am praying for lotus family...amma ponnu paarka aarambichitaanga.....my friends are very happy after hearing this .... hmmm, let see who will be coming in my life ?
[over the phone today afternoon] my mother told that she didn't get lotus flowers for paadha poojai...I was watching TV at this moment in my home(velacherry)..went home for lunch...after hearing this i felt little bit sad as we didn't got lotus flower..within a second i am seeing a scene in a T.V serial where I could see lotus flower in thambalam...what a great ?? lord is listening my thoughts]
May 3rd: I came with white lotus and a yellow garland for lord saraswai to make her happy ...Yes she looks normal(not happy, not sad) ..usually during morning she looks sleepy ;-) ... Daily my mother is doing archanai at mango tree where parvati resides in our home
May 04th: Lotus !! Many more happy returns of the day (May 2'nd) ...
"The flowers open with the light of the sun and close with darkness. Each day is a new life, a new rebirth for the flower".
May 5th: Early morning i had a dream in which i saw Melmaruvathur amman photo emerge from kumkum...Yes today is auspicious day ..why ? indru maduraiyil meenakhsi yin thiru kalyanam... I forget to wish my mother... But she didn't forget me ... why? One alliance came through an unknown person and my parents are happy with that .... In 2 to 3 days result will be known.. whoever like, My mother (lord parvati) should like that bride
May 7th: Today at 8.00 p.m i lighted 16 more lamps ... since the gate near vaideeshwarar place was closed, i lighted the lamps at durga feet... I lit the lamps by taking light from dhakshina moorthy... some times i take light from sun god... belive that those lights has more poweful to kill the oolvinai of lotus father and get him well soon... In this 4 years i have seen lotus for nearly 22 times that too for few seconds.. why i had so much affection ? It's bcoz of lord parvati.. Till my mind not get cool... emaatrathai thaanga mudiyavilai .. why god gave me this dhandanai ?? it's terrible... paasam vaithadharku nallah thittu vaangiten ellorridamum... this is the gift of love.. Now i got the answer for "why people go as sanniyaasi ??" I SAY SHOULDN'T GO AS SANNIYAASI, They are partly selfish ... But few after sanniyasi, they help people ..
Long back i have seen lotus brother in orkut... he also checked back my profile.. yesterday he looked my profile (from visitors).. what's use in this ? i am no where part of his family ...
May 10th: Lighted 10 lamps....bought new mobile Nokia 7210..nothing special on this day..i remember that poor people(begger woman) and flower shop lady at this temple wished me several times that i would get good life partner by seeing me decorating mother godess with flowers... several years ago, my mother thrown lord parvati statue(some kind of metal) into sea water bcoz she had face many problems in her life and got angry of god...on next day she went and search for the statue...but couldn't found ... later on my mothers dream...it(dream) says that the statue has been went through some devotees hand to a temple, so don't search for the statue...now she is in our mango tree ...i have a wish that my wife also will be devotional to lord parvati as like my mother ...Hmm lets see what lord parvati decided ?? who will be coming in my life ??
she said that lotus family has lot of problems... I prayed(asked) lord parvati @ dhandeeswaram temple on mothers day that.. my life is in your hand, if lotus really has love on me and you feel that our life will be good "engala serthu vai" (Krishna - me & Radha -lotus ) else she will be only krishna for me(yashoda) ..either way i have love on lotus..this life is one of our birth cycle, then why should worry on love ?? These births are steps to lord kirshna(goloka vrindhavan)
Evening went to temple and asked 'amma' about my life .. she told that she will see a good bride for me ... we can't judge easily by her words... what she is saying exactly... whether the bride is aparna or some one else... god knows... it's nothing wonder, since women's heart is not readable, same like god... very tough, but she do only good things for us.. if we ask more "she will tell it's deiva rahasiyam" .. I don't know why she played in my life ?? she knows well about Aparna's mind and her family situation ... She only made her(lotus) to took leave for 3 months... she is mother taking care everyone in this universe .. she asked me to wait for several times bcoz she know that lotus has some family problem .. i don't know wht situation made 'amma' to say "lotus don't have love & I will see you a good bride" She also said about a girl.. i like to disclose here..
Mangoes touching the floor looks pretty
Lord saraswati & Lakshmi @ our poojai room
Yashoda & krishna @ Hall
May 19: Today it's confirmed that lotus is not for me... 100 % Amma said that she will be seeing a good bride who understands well me and it will be fixed within this month(vaihaasi).. Everything comes to End ..lotus you are not my life partner ....u nmaiya love panra pasanga ponnunga kannuku theriyaadhu .. avanga poliyaana anba paarthu vilunthiduvaanga ... it's nature ... I failed in love, will win in life ... lotus didn't keep up the words, in business mail she didn't address my name... leave it... friends said that why do you worry for the person who didn't respect you ?? Love is not a sin to punish !!
After Engagement, I will talk to lotus as like others, since i should not punish and also get wish from lotus mother ... To punish (oolvinai) me, god has selected a good girl 'aparna' in my life... she is equal to god for me... so definetly To Wish meg god will select a good girl as my life partner ... I will tell everything about lotus to that partner ;-) since i can't hide any thing
May 21: Today GP* gave me a treat for our project success... she knew about my love.. we both talk together for a long time nearly 2 hrs at A2B .. she is a well matured girl... she advised me to forget the past things happened in my life ... she gave some encouraging words to refresh my mind ... she is a good friend .. I prefer to talk only who is true in mind ... she is really a good girl ... In this material world, many people may be good in character, but they don't be good at mind level (kindness, forgiveness, open hearted, gratitude) ... she said that lotus is not a right partner for me.... she asked me to deviate my concentration in other things like (solving sudoku, reading magazines, cricket, etc ... ) and said you didn't fail in love...you have the love on friends, parents, etc...
I know that lotus won't be my life partner... but i am praying for her fathers health... This is kindness ... i asked lotus several times to discuss .. even my mother called her by saying that he(me) dropped the love and he wants to speak for relief.. she didn't accept .. why she didn't come ??
1. Is that to talk with a boy is bad ? pesina muthaa udunthirum.. 2. Aval manathil ulla kaadhal pesa idam tharavilaya ?? Does she fear .. Still she disabled my name in same time ... No one can love her as like me ..
"You are nothing for me, who are you for me to understand " - Words of lotus .. Even she thown these words on me, I loved her bcoz of god ...
Because of GP* only, i was able to complete the project successfully... This is why i prayed for her happiness at the time of seeing lord ayyappa in sabarimala.... i like the girls to be happy always ;-) Even many times, I ask myself to be happy as like GP* ... i didn't give her the treat ... will give once the project is completely done...
May 23: Today lighted 10 lamps.... only 28 lamps remaining
நான் வடித்த சிலைக்கு (தாமரை மனம்) மாலை இட உரிமை இல்லை
ஜாதி, அழகு, அந்தஸ்து இவற்றில் குறைந்து விட்டேனோ !!
ஆம் அழகு நிறைந்தவன் மாலை இடப்போகிறான், வாழ்க பல்லாண்டு !!
மாலையிடுபவன்,அவள் மனதை நன்றாக பார்த்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும்....
இல்லை நான் வடித்த சிலைக்கு அர்த்தம் இல்லாமல் போய்விடும்....
May27: I went to ascendas to see her for same time.... waiting for long time outside the gate...at last she came outside..after seeing me her eyes & feets obeys her order not giving attention to the mind... she continues her walk ... I went near her and asked about same time... she replies that "I don't know anything" ... I expect this answer... When i return back, one security is looking at me.... if she reply to the sms, then why should i go behind her to ask ?? AShamed of myself !!! ... She came infront of me in auto.... a white angel sits inside the auto.... she is a passing cloud !! ..
May 30: Today is my birthday, I was not happy as like my previous birthday...last year i lighted 108 lamps@ashtalakshmi temple and adorned laskhmi & vishnu with lotus garland(500 flowers) .. I was not interested to go to temple, but my friends asked me to go to temple...so i went to dhandeeswaram temple...and lighted 20 lamps and adorn 3 lotus flowers at vaidheeswara before seeing lord shiva and parvati.... Tooks snaps of him... Then i adorned lord karunabhigai with mullai malar ... Came back home !! . I thought of lighting the remaining 8 lamps by evening, but my bike got puncture...so unable to do that... This 8 lamps is the last thing that i do for lotus, after this there is nothing.. since she hates me... not even like to talk or listen my words ... i am nothing for her ... I thought of going to garbaraakshambigai temple to pray for lotus to get a good life partner [live well wherever you go] .. i will go to this temple before my marriage .. Amma said that you don't go and talk to her or their parents.... Yes i don't talk....
Caste is not going to come with you throughout the life ... Relations give respect only if we have money in hand ... I hate this caste division ....
ghee lamps glowing @ lord vaidheeswarar feet for lotus father !
June 01: Today she came to tidel for a meeting ... She didn't looks like an angel for me... She came in orange ... She looks like an ordinary girl as how she looks during training ... Tholviye vetriyin mudhal padi ... I should win in life... i will tell everything to my life partner ... I will become rich in character, wealth and status in the society !! ... But my goal in life is to reach the lotus feet of lord krishna ... Hope i meet lotus there !! ... There she will talk to me, bcoz that is goloka vrindhavan everyone will have the kind heart of srimadhi radha rani .... Lotus, Hold your father(brahma) and mother's(saraswati) hand and come to goloka .. Ok Va ? Atleast say 'Yes' to this My love(yashoda to krishna)
Lotus flower decorates lord sokkanathar....
06/06/2009:On saturday I have lighted 8 lamps and completed 108 for lotus father... Kadamai mudindhathu.......sunday morning, I got a call from my mother that my father got heart attack and admitted in hospital... what is this fate ?????????? I prayed for lotus father...just now completed 108 lamps...we did good for other..god is giving punishment to us .... what is this fate ?? ... I am going home.. lord vaidheeswaraaa...please take care my father
12/06/2009: Return back to office ... These 6 days i have seen many things which touches my heart and learnt that life is nothing without kind heart people... Caring is the one which is required for every human being... Nurses are the most caring human being next to mother... Doctors are the demi-gods of lord dhanvantiri.. I have learnt bcoz My father has been admitted for chest pain and has been found 3 blocks in heart by angeogram test @ madurai apollo hosptal.... Every second my eyes doesn't sleep when we shift him from tuticorin to madurai hospital...When my father is admitted to Emergency ward, I was seeing a women is writing 'sri rama jayam' ... Tears in many people eyes .... we shocked after the angeogram report and doctor said that my father has to take bypass surgery in a week ... We didn't expect this result... Now he is normal, But he has to be enough confident to face the operation... operation will be on coming monday or tuesday... bcoz of responsibility of work in office... after seeing the cofident in my father's face i came to office today...will be returning madurai on monday... Hope that blocks should be blast before operation...but i asked doctor is there any possible that we can prevent operation...but he said operation is the only way... It's karma vinai, we have to face with the help of lord... i have lot to write about the caring nature of nurse and people's prayer for their patients to get well soon... On wednesday i went to madurai meenakshi temple and lighted lamps, adorn meenakshi with lotus flowers .. daily my mother is spending nearly 45 minutes in poojai room decorating lords, preparing prashadam, archanai and more for gods... .. so definetly gods will take care of my father and mother... I thought that i finished lighting lamps at vaidheeswarar feet, but i think he is asking more lamps to light at his place... Yes god, I am always happy to light lamps at your feet for people's health... You are the doctor... I will do my pending office work today and saturday, then go back to madurai... He will be alright soon !!! Hare Krishna !!
Lotus how is your father now ?? will you guide me to take care of my father ?
I will try to make my daughter as a doctor...hmmm lets see the future
By pass surgery
Don't let someone become a priority in your life,
when you are just an option in their life...
Relationship works best when they are balanced
Every human being will get happy
only after facing the difficulties in their life path
20/06/2009: On monday 15th June, we were waiting outside of the operation theatre... Doctor sridhar said all the very best and went inside at 9.40 a.m...it tooks nearly 5 hrs and they called us at 2.40 p.m to say that operation is sucesss....
doctor said that 1 bypass is critical ... and it was complex due to thin vein .. veins has taken from legs.... 3 bypass has done for the 3 blocks... i came to know this is a major surgery after i studied the details abot CAPG(Caronary artery bypass surgery) in websites.. Lotus during training, she explained about heart functions and its varius parts... I can't forget those days... she is my teacher and a doctor... only my mother is allowed to see my father two times... He is improving at each stage while we see at him at the alloted time(2 times a day)... On thursday he shifted from ICU to ward and he is able to walk with the help of two persons... In the hospital, I have seen a father of a girl who has admitted for delivery... she is a doctor and her husband family is rich enough to pay for hospital fees... But this father alone is paying the fees from borrowing loan by keeping his wife jewels as collateral... why the husband is not thinking that his wife is part of himself ?? I said my mother not to get dowry from girl's parent ...
One more imp things heard : In tirichy one grand father is there, he is a good friend to my father... After hearing the news, he gave archanai for my father at vetkaaliamman temple ... He is a devotee of this god and adorn big garland on every pournami ... He is having steel utensils factory at tirichy and a hard worker ... he don't have any property on his name... very simple person ... One of the dislike person who did " mandhiravaadhi vaithu seiyvinai seidhu fatctory machines oda vidaam seydhuvittaan" ... This bad sakthi can lock the feets of god and damage the machines.... Thaathaw said that only the machines which is not under his control has affected not the one which is operated by him... the bad sakthi couldn't affect bcoz of his devotional power... The production has been decreased due to the other machines... My mother told that bad sakthi will have power only for few days, once we are enough god power, this bad sakthi become failed to affect us and then turn back to affect the person who created ... [Bad english.. Ramesh, no one is there to correct this ;-(]
After hearing these news, I prayed to god that my wife should be devotional as like my mother .. Mother should be devotional to safe guard the entire family ;-) ... I went to meenakshi amman temple after my fathers operation to say thanks... i forget to write one good things, while leaving from hospital i saw a photo in my fathers ward which is lord krishna and radharani riding on a camel near the yamuna river where lotus blossoms... Yes i am seeing lotus in hospital also... Hey lotus...how are you ??? How is your father ?? I think, you will talk only in next birth.. Yur family members are lucky that hearing ur voice always...i like to fight with you as a child...
[ Lord Krishna and Radharani riding on a camel near yamuna river where lotus blossoms... Snap Taken at ward no 3318]
21/06/2009: Health is wealth.... Expecting my father will be returning back to home on friday... Will be discharge on tuesday and he needs to be in madurai for 3 days as an out patient... My mother is taking care him as a child .... Life partner caring is much nescessary at this old age.. i will light lamps after my father comes to tuticorin(sweet home)
Three gods... Saibaba, Melmaruvathur adihalar, Adhibharasakthi Balaghan were with my father in Hospital... Prayed them to take care of other patients too...You could see 3 tubes which carry oxygen, air and vacuum for patients... don't know about these equipments meant for ??
25/06/2009: Tuesday night, at 7.30 p.m i was waiting for longtime at guindy junction for bus to madurai... Set my mind that not to travel in S.E.T.C... Bcoz SETC is very slow ... Atlast get into a travels (vivegam) at 9.00 p.m... I know he goes very fast and the same thing happenned.. He took 8 hrs to reach madurai... My father got early and thinking about me .. how he comes ?? I went to hospital by 5.20 a.m and my father welcomes me... i felt that i wasted 4 years of my life like the 2 hrs for bus and finally reached early to the destination ... So the same way in life i will balance the 4 yrs ... But lotus is not going to help me... It's my dream to start a travels like K.P.N, Parveen ... i don't have money to invest now.. Surely i will start with the name 'LOTUS'
After the medical bill settlement, father was discharged and he is staying now in relatives(uncle) home for 2 days... For the first time, i bought chocolates, biscuits and sweets to my uncle childrens and they are happy like birds .... friday tomorrow we will go to our sweet home tuticorin ... If lotus is for me, then we would stay in her home... Today, i am going back to madurai through nellai express... I like madurai bcoz of lotus not meenakshi amman...
Lotus name is parvati, my mother name is parvati, my lord name is parvati... They are brahma, vishnu and shiva ... My mother is brahma who creates me, lord parvati is vishnu who saves me and lotus(aparna) is shiva who takes my heart with her......
On 26th friday, We came back to our sweet home... My father is under medication with the support of my mother ..I bought all vegetables, fruits for 2 weeks and came back to office on monday... I heard one bad news that my friends sister father-in-law expired due to heart attack(4 blocks).... Today morning i went to thiruvetriyur for the 3rd day function and came back to office... He don't have any bad habits and a good devotee of lord hanuman... life is not in our hand... god can take us away at any time for the next birth cycle.. Aathma never dies... Thing is to we should not suffer in this world... do good things to others.. be devotional to god to clear bad karma.... No one is rich based on money / Knowledge / power .. They are rich only when he/she is a good aathma !! My mother is rich
Lotus, You do good things to poor people ... give books to poor children, food to old people... You are srimadhi radha rani... You have kindness... You should go to goloka vridndhavan in this birth cycle itself
Some times in office, i feel lonely and sad...that time, i go to ground floor and drink masala tea looking at birds(sight adipathu) .. feel little bit possesive when looking at pairs... I make all my friends to be happy during lunch at 1'st floor by my innocent talk...but no one is there for me to bring happy to kill the loneliness... lotus is far from me !!
July 4: some times, feel to die... when i see cute children's(girl not boy)... I don't like boys... If i have that child, then why should i marry a girl ?? Love is more precious than sex ...
People love only the one who has money ... money is ruling the world... love is nothing for them... .. Ellarum nadikiraanga ... when i see saraswati river in computer system... feel to die in that river
Lotus don't know about the guys characters... In future she will know most of the people(guys) characters in her life ... I didn't do anything wrong except love...... avaluku veli ulaghham theriyala....autola office vandhutu auto la veetuku poraa... enaku pennin ulagham theriyavillai
Yesterday my mother after seeing the film "aanandha thandavam" in T.V .. she is saying that you are like mad on your love like the hero character in the movie.. Don't be fool ... Why i have love on lotus ??? I can die for her ... my mother is afraiding on me
I sent sms to enable same time since i am not able to concentrate in my work... feeling guilty what i did ??? I love computer, but i couldn't do my work sincerely .. Today i thought of buying laptop to deviate my concentration on learning java... dono whether this idea gives fruit to me ?? Apuva Palarnu arailaam pola iruku(I don't even say in words.. bcoz girls shouldn't be touch / beat ... I have seen fathers who beat their wife... I hate them... i am giving so much respect to girls, but i am suffering bcoz of idiotic love on lotus)... avaluku enna nallah sandhosama irukiraal, marriage has been fixed with someone ... long live both of you.. He is the luckiest person who is going to marry lotus .... what he did to marry lotus ? silai vadithaana illai ...He is lucky to marry aparna the lotus... My mother cheated me ... Naan eduthu vaitha porulai veroruvanuku koduthu vitaal .. I am missing you lotus
I have to continue(back) my dream which i had before seeing you lotus.. paaru aval unnai vida alaghaaha irupaal... indha pen maadhiri..(actress of film naadodighal).. in real life she is deaf and dumb... I went for this movie today and it's a good film ..
I like to smile like this girl... Each and Every guy had dream about his life partner.... after the movie i went to spencer with my friend... bought the book(you can win) to improve reading habit.... Then i went to a handicrafts shop...I thought of buying handifcrafts items to lotus ... But some one else is there for her .. He might be rich enough to buy her what ever she likes... But i can give her the love which is more precious and also can take her to lord saraswati and brahma ...
lotus you are missing a good mother-in-law... my mother studied till 8th in a small village ... but she is equal to a high court judge... In hospital, a retired university director came for her daughter's deivery... she is asking my mother whether you are working in a government office ?? she is brilliant, selfless, kind hearted ... Today she is solving the problems in my sister's life .. No one gets a good mother like this ... only thing she failed is not able to make lotus to speak with me ..
Tons of smiles
Sunday today evening went to dhandeeswaram shiva temple after 2 weeks ... saraswati looks very happy ;-) ... so then lotus also be happy in her home.... what are you doing in home lotus ?? I love her (lord saraswati) very much ... I like her smiley face ... parvati mela ulla kopam innum pohala, bcoz she cheated me .... Today in t.v serial, i saw sita devi and lotus should be like her .... If lotus is with me, I am sure will reach goloka vrindavan in this birth cycle.. But she is far away from me ....while returning from temple in my pulsar, a small boy is riding a chota cycle and a cute girl is sitting behind as a princess... I just said 'Hi' to them, they both looked(turn back) at me with tons of smiles.
July 9th: Yesterday, My friend saravanan called me and said that we will be going to sabarimalai on september 17th.... Good News to hear this.. I will take vridham from august 6th onwards.. these 41 days mind will be relaxed .. This week I am going to my home in pearl city express(wl-86) if ticket is confirmed else by bus .. Next week saturday, i will be going to garbaraakshambigai temple and do prayer for lotus and my mother...
My mother is working restless...taking care of my father, started doing poojai work, house activities, solving the problems in my younger sister's(twins) life as a single women... Cinema is nothing but real life events.. Sister is in worst financial situation bcoz of money borrowed from several places.... [lotus don't like borrowing money like my mother ... i appreciate u lotus !] .. 1 person who is roudi placing obstacles not allowing them to sell the house to settle the amounts.... Real estate business persons are worst, they do whatever for money.... that idiot worked as a labour in our grand father company.. now he became daada in our area... Family is in women's hand.. she should take control of the entire family once she is married.. she should know all kinds of business that her husband do... They both should be open book between each other.. Should n't be lie ... my sister failed in managing the family... She learned the lessons now.. it Takes time to regain the family to "happy Home"... my elder sister is brilliant, she talked with her husband everything openly and discuss all disputes and facts till 2 or 3'clock night .. When she got married, my brother-in-law earned 5,000 per month...now he started a new factory making a turnover of more than 1 crore / year.. This is bcoz of my sister .. When i said this to geetha, she said that It's rare to get husband like my sister.. And also 50% of guys are dominating girls... When i love lotus, i thought with the help of lotus I will also go to the top of the world... But I am not lucky to marry lotus... Lotus You have lot of power ... Will u make use of it ?
Sirpiku(girl) uli(godess power) irundhaal mattum podhaadhu, avan thiramaiku etra kal (boy)therndhu eduka vendum...
He he he ... I am always taking sirpi and kal as Example ;-)
Today, I read an article about Lord Hayagreevar .. Hayagriva is an avatar of Vishnu. He is worshipped as the God of knowledge and wisdom. He who taught knowledge to Goddess Saraswati.With a human body and a horse's head, brilliant white in color, with white garments and seated on a white lotus.
July 14th: As i said earlier... train ticket was not confirmed, went home by bus.... Father is well now at home and he is alive today bcoz of grace of god and the bakthi of our family... He don't be devotional as like my mother, sister(elder) and myself... I think people will be devotional to god by natural... My younger sister is seeing the things which shouldn't face by any women in life... Earlie she don't give respect to my mother and she is different from all of us... Now she understands the importance and love of my mother... Words which she thrown came back to her... God has given punsihment in this life itself... she realized that love(paasam) is important than money(poli gouravam).... Hope the problem will be solved soon... In this busy and tough situation, my mother is seeing bride for me ... She will motivates me to start a business... I should go up....... I need such a girl.. i asked god that she should be more beautiful, brilliant than lotus ... We will live like shiva and parvati, Vishnu and laksmi.. lets wait and see who is that bride ??
How my wife should be ??
திரியாக நான், தீபமாய் சுடர் விட்டு எறிய
எண்ணையாய் அவள், படர்ந்திட வேண்டும்
How is your father lotus apu ?? Take care of him... Ask him to eat healthy fruits, read bhagavat gita, mahabharatam .. This will give relax to his mind and can tell story to his grand son/daughter in future.. He can try yoga, meditation etc.. He needs a good caring and affection... 1 phone call of you is enough .. Yes lotus your voice has healing power, make use of it for ur father... it's divine nectar equal to 'amirdham' .. I missed this ;-(
July 17: words which we thrown on others will come back to us like boomerang... Yes Its happened true to my sister... தீயினால் சுட்ட புண் உள்ளாறும் ஆறாதே நாவினால் சுட்ட வடு ... Also Kindness which we showed on others will help you at the right time in life.. These are good seeds which we sowed earlier.... right nw this is helping her ...
Lotus, Always be kind to others... Help poor children... Be like srimadhi radha rani on good people and be like parvati(durga) on bad people...You are always silent on me like saraswati devi... when do you talk lotus ?? I am going to buy laptop by this weekend
July 21: Last saturday, I was on shift hence garbaraakshambigai temple visit is post-poned to aug 14th... I have continous schedule for all week-ends.. my mother asked me to buy laptop on Aadi 18th which is auspicious day for parvati devi... This also post-poned ;-) ... this week-end i am going home and the next week-end, going to visit many temples with my friends(lunch mates-5 stars) near kumbagonam.... Yesterday, I went to aanchineya temple and requested my wishes to him ...
Today(aadi amavaasai) my mother did vehlvi at temple ... In other temple only the iyar do vehlvi, but here public people are allowed to do the vehlvi.. These are the prayers to lord indran and other godess for the peoples wealth in this material world..... Today 1 good things happened[Sri Chakram].... my mother got this and we don't know much about this ...
I had a wish of having lotus to do this vehlvi ... I like lotus to be more close to god... But I missed this ...
No one get a good mother like us .. July 23th is my mother birthday...
On 25th July, we will be taking "kanchi" to temple for lord parvati devi which we takes in 'kalayam" .. Mean while, I am lighting lamps for my father.... Elder sister settled in life with hard work... Younger sister now realized what is life and love.. Facing worst part of life and she will recover soon ... Me still in the race, no path decided yet... But definitely do well... No one can judge my love on lotus... It's more than universe... I don't know how it grows inside me ?? Does it bcoz of previous birth love ?? dono ... I can't forget lotus till my 'aathma' exist
Now I am thinking abt to start a "Lotus Travels" bus company..but it needs huge investment...till acquire money to invest, i need to do some other business or to get on-site opportunity... it will take years to start ..
I missed you lotus... You have full of energy which i missed... I kept one of ur 'TSOAVIJ' file in my project dataset 'T.tprs.atoms.jcl' to give inspiration to work....But u still didn't enable same-time... Only god knows the pain that i feel bcoz of this mysterious love... No sleep, No happy even if friends around me making fun .. With them i am going to spiritual tour next week-end...
I missed you lotus.............. I need to go up, will my life partner have the same power that u have ? Did her voice give the divine power ? The one who is going to marry lotus is very lucky...
July 27: This week end I went home... I asked amma(Aadhi parasakthi) about lotus... but she is not talking about her.... she told that "avaley nee vendaanu poivitaal...why should we talk abt her ?... Even if you marry her.. this will be sweet for few years... the story which i said early(a girls life) will happen to u ... " I asked one more question... "அபர்ணா என்ற வைரத்தை எந்த தங்கத்தில் பதிக்க போரீங்க.." no reply for this ... instead she is telling about the diamond who will be coming in my life.. I asked why lotus loved me before ?? .. For this she said things which happens today doesn't true by tomorrow.... last year while visiting lord ayappan temple... I thought that i should bring lotus to this place .... while returning i took the "ayappan aarathi thattu" from yelam... I thought that my mother will take aarathi to lotus with this plate.... But these dreams would never happen... Also i thought that lotus family and myfamily as a single family ... we both together take care of this family... No separation between us.. this would never happen... But one day i will meet lotus family members with my wife... apavum lotus pesataa paravailla.. I will talk to others... Defiinetly, one day lotus will come to know about my real love and lord parvati ... she will understand that my punishment is not fare... Bcoz changes is life....
I took photos of the 'sri chakram' in our poojai room... I don't know much about this... have to google .. I noticed that our mango tree has 5 branches as like 5 fingers in a hand... we could see in the movie 'Amman' seats on a hand which comes out from a pond ..
Snap of Srichakram, Behind this naaha devadhai is there who always grow...we are see ing the size of the statue(height) increases little by little.. While doing vehlvi at temple...அம்மா அருளோடு வந்து, என் அன்னையிடம் கை நீட்ட சொல்லி வேப்பிலையை உருவி போட்டால்...அதிலிருந்து ஸ்ரீ சக்கிரம் வந்து விழுந்தது... அதை வேள்வியில் வைக்க சொல்லி வீட்டில் வைத்து பூஜை செய்ய சொன்னாங்க... Also she said that "இந்த ஸ்ரீ சக்கிரம் கிடைப்பதற்காக முனிவர்களும், தேவர்களும் கடும் தவம் இருப்பார்கள்.... அது இன்று உனக்கு கிடைத்திருக்கிறது".
see this mango tree which has 5 branches as like fingers in hand
lotus is the only one girl who looks beautiful in that team meeting ... She is the only girl who wears thupatta very neatly.... i like this very much.... Yes, I made the first mistake that i shouldn't love a beautiful girl with my dark complexion ... I don't impress by beautiful girl... i am impress who looks homely and silent... Earlier I was not impress on lotus...but her voice made me to love on her.... I asked permission from amma before propose my love.... There i did the second mistake... Third one is that not to decide girl is on love with you by their actions.. they play with us...they are selfish and change their mind to safeguard them... Fourth one is that i believed the amma words "You are in her heart as like ram-sita in hanuman heart" ... This might be true at that time... bcoz girl's change their mind often... All these mistakes are done by fate....... She don't know the things happening around me.. she is doing her job perfectly and happily....... Once in a life time she turns back the past life and read this and come to know what is love ??
Never she can understand the feelings until she takes another birth in this world as a boy(Ramesh) and fall in love as like me... I will born as Aparna .. BUt if that happens she(he in that case) should succeed in love... Kasapai undavan inipai(thehn) parugha vendum... That success gives inspiration to win more in life......
During the meeting, I couldn't see her face once a while I was looking at her feet... She noticed and take her leg back..... Why ??? still she didn't understand me.... I was seeing her how she is now ?? nothing other than this....
I said my feelings to my mother and she got upset and didn't sleep over the night..... I shouldn't tell to my mother... I asked my mother "ethukumaa enna karupaa petha" otherwise she would loved me...
Why i did these 4 mistakes bcoz of this, wasted my 4 years of golden life... Arun is very lucky.... Jbal is a good girl.... They both are having good understanding ... Perfect couple.. Veetula than kaadhala solli poraadi jeyithuvitaal... I appreciate their parents.... and hearty congratulations to arun and jbal... They both are able to work well in the same team, bcoz of the happiness, inspiration and challenges.. Also to show their parents that they will win in life together which will be a gift to their parents for accepting their love..... Congrats Once again !!
5th mistake fate discarded is that " Heart Attack should comes for me, instead of my father... I should die " .. she might enable same-time, since i won't be live !!
Today still i am in home, not willing to go to office...... why ?????? Office pona...same time disabled, can't talk to her for business queries....Theenda thahadhavan pola iruken.... I hate this material world love...
August5th:lastweek-end we the 5 stars(jbal,rathina,durai,prasanna,ramesh) went to pilgrimage tour ... on friday we get into the bus 'Rathimeena' at 11.00 p.m near thiruvaanmiyur bus depo and reached mayiladurai at 4.00 a.m.... Morning we had a good breakfast at rathina house and the first place visited is thirumanancherry ... this is the temple for lord kalyana sundaramoorthy(shiva) where people comes for marriage....I also came here for the same as per my mother compulsion..... and the iyer gave maala to other friends also.... I prayed for jbal marriage and she prayed for all of us to get married in one year..... then we visited the following navagraha temples on saturday and sunday....
Vaitheeswaran Koil - MARS (SEVVAI)
Thiruvenkadu - MERCURY (PUDHAN)
Thirunageswaram - RAGHU
Alangudi - GURU (VIYALAN)
Thingalore - MOON (Chandran) Not visited
Suriyanar Koil - SUN (SURIYAN)
Kanjanur - SUKKIRAN
I lighted ghee lamps almost in all the temples.... At vaideeshwarar temple prayed for lotus and my father to recover completely... I prayed to all gods ...if lotus really loved me ....engala serthu vai with the permission of lord parvati.... I still love her a lot... while returning from the trip we all had a discussion about love.. Jbal is really a brilliant girl..... she also lighted lamps at all temples... but guys didn't lighted lamps... we took many snaps in the tour.... They all know about my love and the sufferings... I made them to buy lotus for lord shiva ... We all had bunch of lotus flowers in hand .... kindal seyvaanga why r u have so much crazy on lotus flower... lotus is special for god.... i tell them that her nick name is lotus.... Friends can advise me to forger lotus...but they don't know the things happened in my life and my love .......
we had a great time on these 2 days... played dhaayam, cards at rathina home.... His mother taken care us well... delicious food at breakfast & dinner ... the girl who is coming to this home is lucky.... For a girl husband family is very important.... By that time i think about lotus mother how she would be ?? did she has kindness on me ? i didn't do anything wrong.... i loved her daughter that's it... en paasam dhanai purindha kolla maataikiraanga ley ...
Tomorrow i am going to put maalai for sabarimalai ayyapan.... going to take vridham for 45 days.... I thought of talking to her before putting maalai... last attempt to try.... don't know what's the status there in lotus family now ... when they have fixed the marriage ? who is that person ? why it's getting delay ?? Is that delay is for me .... (waste dream).... Her heart is full of that person only... I am not...... why god made me to love on her ?? does her marriage will be done during my vridham days ?? dono .. during the pilgrimage tour... I prayed all gods to forgive me, If i did any bad thing in previous birth.......
I have 8 papers arrear(absent) in MBA .. till not completed my MBA degree... why ??? Bought laptop on aadi 18th... Lotus laptop la work pannum bodhu naanum work pannuven ... sariya lotus !!
முழுமதி அவளது முகமாகும் மல்லிகை அவளது மணமாகும் மின்னல்கள் அவளது விழியாகும் மௌனங்கள் அவளது மொழியாகும்
[Completed 108/ 108 lamps @ vaideeshwarar lotus feet for lotus aparna's father on behalf of lotus .... ghee lamps burn the 'karma vinai' which is the reason for suffering in life] [Lot of things to write ................. Everything becomes history]